


She's Got You

by surefinewhatever23



Series: Witness Protection [3]
Category: Conviction (TV 2006), Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/F, Loss, Mentions of Conviction, One Shot, Patsy Cline - Freeform, Post Cabenson, Post WPP, Reunions, WPP actually happened, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26606080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefinewhatever23/pseuds/surefinewhatever23
Summary: Alex and Olivia accidentally run into each other after years of no contact. So many things have changed. Inspired by 'She's Got You' by Patsy Cline.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot, Olivia Benson/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Witness Protection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814710
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	She's Got You

“Alex? Are you okay?”

Your voice is a knife cutting through the deafening silence of the past few minutes since I saw you sitting on the park bench across from me. I wonder if I would have stopped if I knew what seeing you again would do to me. 

We exchanged the usual ‘hellos’ but my words escaped me after that. I can’t even look you in the eyes right now so I just stare off into the distance and try to find something else to fixate on. 

Sure, I have the photo we took together that weekend we spent at my parent’s lakehouse. The ink has faded just a bit, but I can still just make out: “yours always, Olivia.” That has to be proof that you cared, right? 

And I have your records sitting on my shelf in my lonely one-bedroom apartment. I could afford much more but I was tired of coming home to a cold and empty penthouse. The records are one of the few possessions that I still have of our--my--former life. They are one of the only things they let me take with me to Witness Protection. 

I listen to them at night sometimes. Usually when I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine and I can’t get you out of my mind. They still sound the same as when you first gave them to me, Liv. When I play them, I swear I can feel the ghost of your arms around me, can see us swaying slowly. 

You asked me if I’m okay, but how do I tell you what I am feeling? I have these parts of you, of our life together. And trust me, I am grateful to have even those. It’s almost as if everything is the same. The only thing different, the only thing new, is that I’ve got these little things and she’s got you. 

I never asked her name, but that tan line on your ring finger tells me all I need to hear. I can’t blame you. I was gone for years, longer than I needed to. I sure as hell didn’t expect to see you again here, the park of all places. 

“Alex, please talk to me. At least give me that.”

You turn away, hoping I won’t notice you wipe the tears in your eyes. So I talk to you, about little things and big things. It isn’t until I start talking that I realize it’s been almost five years. I tell you about how I moved to a private firm, still helping victims but no longer a part of the political magnetism of the DA’s office. 

I almost tell you about Robert, how we ended it, but there’s no reason for me to reopen those old wounds. I spent so many nights crying over the congratulatory card you sent after that asshole announced our engagement in the paper. I swear I was more emotional about that than I was when he broke up with me. I tossed it in the fireplace one night, just another way to push you out of my mind. 

And then it gets just a little bit easier to breathe. I missed you so much. At the very least I missed you as my friend. You start to talk to me about how you got promoted to Captain. You ask if I want to see a picture of your son and I nod. 

His little smile breaks my heart and I can’t help but feel like that should be our son, should be our family. I have no right, I’m the one who told you not to wait for me and the one who stayed gone. Of course you listened, I really didn’t give you a choice. 

Your laugh makes me smile, a real smile that I haven’t done in a while. It’s no longer a distant memory, you’re actually here. For a few minutes, it’s easy to pretend that we’re just picking back up where we left off. It’s easy for me to lie to myself. 

“Who is she?” I whisper, brushing my fingers over the little tan line on your hand. You pull your hand away sharply. I’ve gone too far and I know it. 

I’ve got all of these memories of us. Or do they have me? At this point I really don’t know. I just know that I had to ask you that. If I hadn’t asked I don’t know if I ever really would have gotten closure, broken free.

You’re not even trying to hide your tears now but you don’t move away. We’re still sitting so close that our thighs are touching. Warmth radiates from you, a stark contrast from the cold pain in your eyes.

“Alex, I… I would have waited forever for you. And I did until I saw your engagement. I was hurt you never called to tell me. You never called at all...”

Maybe you see the look in my eyes because your voice softens. You take a deep breath before continuing. 

“Her name was Amber. We met on a case when her daughter went missing. I was holding her hand when we found the body and had to catch her when she fell. I was shocked when she asked me out a few weeks later.” I notice you use the past tense and I immediately feel awful for my unjustified jealousy. 

You tell me that she was a firefighter and was diagnosed with cancer six months after your wedding. She passed away a few months ago, and you tell me you just stopped wearing your ring last week. Hence the tan line. I wonder if it hurts more to look at that line or the ring. 

I don’t even think twice, I just wrap my arm around you, offering some sort of comfort. You melt into my arms, until your breathing deepens and the tears stop falling. 

“It’s okay Liv. I’m here. I’m not leaving again.” 

At this, you stiffen and then pull away. 

“I still love her, Alex. I don’t know that I can go through this type of loss again. I lost you and I barely made it. I was finally back to normal and so happy when I met Amber. I thought I was better, stronger for the whole experience with you and then I lost my wife too. She is--was--my everything and I’d be a complete mess right now if it wasn’t for Noah.” You stop, meeting my eyes, gauging my reaction. 

My mouth starts to open but I don’t know what to say. I always wished that someday we’d get back together, as juvenile as that sounds. I just never expected to see you again so I never had to worry about the consequences of leaving you in the first place. Seeing you again is like a drug that I forgot I was addicted to. I want you, need you in my life now that I’ve had a glimpse. 

So I tell you. We’ve been friends for much much longer than we ever were lovers. I can do this, be here with you platonically. Because the alternative hurts to even think about. 

“Friends?” I ask you, just as cautious as I was the first time we talked outside of work all those years ago. 

“Friends,” you say with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, but it’s a good start.


End file.
